When you lose someone…

This little composition is inspired from the evocative post — “Missing” — by Suzanne Leitz; borrowing words and feelings from her. It’s a tribute to her feelings, and her strength; and to the poignant yet tranquilizing memories of my brother whom I lost.

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When you lose someone

a part of yourself goes missing

that can never be reclaimed

Try as you much

to go on

but the hole

is always there

making you feel so maimed

You do happen

to catch

moments of joy

but it’s never without

a fleeting feeling

of being disdained

Her favorite clothes

hidden away

in that secret drawer

you press your face into them

in a bid to catch

the long faded scent

The futility of it all

hits you bluntly

the helpless tears

tear up the pent up longing 

And your soul

along with her clothes 

gets stained

The family picture

looks so incomplete

though she too is there

on the wall

just next to it 

separately framed

Sweeter the memories

stronger is the pain

traveling the agonizing path

back n forth

with despair and anguish

your core being consumed and claimed

Why couldn’t I do

something to save her

absurdly you accuse

yourself

and feel ashamed

Missing someone

so dearly

so heart wrenching 

it feels sad

it feels good

the despairing sweet memories 

a treasure

to be held on to

of feelings

oxymoronically strained

For it’s not humanly possible 

for the pain to fade away…

preserve the feelings

& the memories

So palpable

Nurse them.. savour them..

slowly.. softly

Live with them 

Hold on to them– as her part

Don’t stop them

don’t try to be rid of

Let them flow

through you, untamed.

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